What do you personally find attractive Is it a specific hair color, a certain body type, or a particular facial feature And here’s a tougher question are those preferences really yours, or were they quietly shaped by what you’ve seen on screens your entire life Social media and television have an enormous influence on how we define beauty, often pushing standards that are unrealistic, unhealthy, and sometimes even harmful. Today, we’re going to take a deeper look at how the media distorts our perception of attractiveness—and, more importantly, what we can do to push back and reclaim our own sense of beauty.
Let’s start with what I like to call the filtered reality. We all want to look our best, that’s completely human. But with the rise of beauty filters on social media, the line between reality and fantasy has become incredibly blurred. These filters promise flawless skin, perfectly symmetrical faces, and features that look almost sculpted. At first glance, they seem harmless—just a fun way to enhance a photo. But over time, they create a new beauty baseline. Suddenly, anything that doesn’t match that polished, artificial look starts to feel “less than” or unattractive.
This issue has grown so widespread that it’s now being referred to as Snapchat dysmorphia. Researchers from Boston University School of Medicine suggest that this phenomenon may be linked to body dysmorphic disorder, a condition in which people become fixated on perceived flaws in their appearance. Instead of appreciating natural features, we start comparing ourselves—and others—to digitally altered versions of reality. And the more we do that, the further we drift away from recognizing genuine, human beauty.
Now let’s talk about absurd standards. Think back to that iconic Old Spice commercial—the super ripped guy, shirtless, riding a horse along the beach. It’s entertaining, sure, but it’s also a perfect example of how advertisements sell more than products. They sell ideals. In this case, the message is clear this is what the “ideal” male body looks like. Lean, muscular, perfectly toned. But let’s be honest—most people don’t look like that. Most of us have a bit of a belly, maybe some love handles, and that’s completely normal.
Even if you work out regularly and live a healthy lifestyle, genetics play a huge role in how your body looks. Not everyone is built for a six-pack. Yet when we’re constantly exposed to these hyper-muscular images, it’s easy to feel guilty for missing a workout or feel like we’re somehow failing. A 2009 study published in the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity found that exposure to these kinds of commercials made men feel more self-conscious about their muscles and overall appearance. In other words, the media doesn’t just inspire—it pressures.
But the weight of expectations doesn’t stop there. While some people are pushed to be more muscular to be considered attractive, others are harshly judged and shamed for their weight. Celebrities are especially vulnerable to this kind of scrutiny. We’ve seen tabloids criticize Christina Aguilera for pregnancy weight, ridicule Adele for her curves, and shame Demi Lovato for gaining weight after recovering from an eating disorder. These aren’t isolated incidents—they’re part of a larger pattern.
Fat shaming in the media has real consequences. A 2019 study found that it can influence society’s subconscious attitudes, reinforcing anti-overweight biases. The underlying message is clear and damaging thinner is better, and thinness equals attractiveness. But here’s the reality that often gets lost in all of this noise—body type is simply that. A body type. It does not determine your value, your worth, or your beauty.
Now let’s talk about another layer of this issue shades of beautiful. Television and film play a massive role in shaping what people consider attractive, and this includes perceptions of race and skin tone. Back in 1982, writer Alice Walker coined the term colorism to describe discrimination based on skin shade, particularly the tendency to judge darker-skinned Black individuals more harshly than those with lighter skin.
Unfortunately, this problem is still very present today. Hollywood often favors lighter-skinned Black actors and actresses for leading roles, while darker-skinned performers are frequently sidelined or overlooked altogether. This skewed representation distorts how Black beauty is perceived, both within and outside the community. And the psychological impact can be profound.
Licensed psychologist Josephine Almansar explained to WebMD that one of the biggest psychological effects of colorism is damage to a person’s core beliefs. For those with darker skin, it can create feelings of unworthiness and lead to emotional distress, depression, and hopelessness. When media representation consistently sends the message that certain features are more desirable than others, it leaves lasting scars.
So how does the media manage to influence our perception of attractiveness so deeply To understand that, we need to look at a couple of psychological concepts familiarity and the mere exposure effect. First studied by social psychologist Robert Zajonc in the 1960s, this idea suggests that the more often we see something, the more familiar it becomes—and the more we tend to like it.
That means when we’re repeatedly exposed to retouched images, narrow beauty ideals, and unrealistic standards, our brains start accepting them as normal. Over time, they shape what we believe is attractive, even if those standards don’t reflect real people or real life. It’s not that we consciously choose these ideals—it’s that they’re quietly reinforced again and again.
But here’s the good news. This process works both ways. Just as repeated exposure can push unrealistic beauty standards, it can also help undo them. You can actively take control of how you define beauty. Start by unfollowing accounts that promote impossible standards or make you feel inadequate. Instead, follow people who celebrate authenticity, diversity, and real human features.
When your feed is filled with a wider range of faces, bodies, and stories, your brain begins to recalibrate. Over time, those realistic and diverse representations start to feel just as attractive—if not more so—than the filtered ideals you were used to seeing. And eventually, that shift makes it easier to recognize beauty not only in others, but in yourself.
So let’s open the conversation. Are there other ways you think the media twists our perception of attractiveness How do you believe we can challenge these norms, both individually and as a society Share your thoughts in the comments—we’d love to hear them.
Most importantly, don’t let the media’s distorted version of attraction dictate your self-worth. Your unique features, your individuality, and your humanity are not flaws—they’re what make you you. Embrace them. Celebrate them. And always remember this you matter.